August 5, 2008

 

I keep forgetting that I have this photo project to do.  So today’s photo is not inspired in any way.   Just remembered that I had to do it before getting ready for bed.  I got caught up in scanning old film negatives and digitizing all those film negatives.  

 

Then my wireless router decides to die on me today so I have to get a new one.  I head over to the local Staples store and call my cousin Lanie for some advice as to which brand is the best.  So we’re on the phone talking about routers, which leads to talking about computers, and Lanie’s inevitable, “I need a new computer” line.  She starts telling me about this new laptop that’s super fast.  It’s so fast that it even lights up like a race care or something.   Does it come with a checkered flag, too? 

 

It’s funny because oftentimes, we call each other for advice about stuff and then we end up talking the other into the purchase.  I guess it’s much easier to justify a purchase when discussing the pros and cons with someone else.  Needless to say, I end up spending $100 on a new wireless router on my cousin’s advice that I need to “think ahead because advances in technology are constantly being made” (or something to that effect.)  I could have bought a $40 router, but you know, I do have to think of future technological advances.

 

I get home and try to get online.  Not as easy as it sounds.  Of course, the writing on the box states that it’s “Easy Setup,” implying that all I have to do is plug the cables in correctly and voila!  Ha!  Never ever trust what the box says.  It so was far from easy setup!  I follow the instructions on the CD and still I get nothing.  I retry, and retry, and retry, and retry.  Still nothing.  By this time, I’m quite frustrated so I call tech support (and I hate calling tech support) and spend about 45 minutes with them.  There’s a bit of a language issue since tech support is now outsourced to the planet 428B in the Alpha Centauri region of the universe.

 

Anyways, after much frustration, I’m finally back online.

Photo a Day

So I’m sitting here at my computer, listening to whatever random song shuffles on my iPod, scanning old film negatives, and feeling a bit depressed that I haven’t really gone out this summer just to shoot pictures.

 

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more cautious about where I go.  It used to be that if I wanted to go anywhere, I’d just get in the car and go with no thought to my safety.  Now, I think about the dangers out in the world, especially for a single girl with a nice expensive camera in her hand.  Hmmmm.  Is this a sign of age or a sign of the times?

 

Anyways, I’ve been feeling like I’m not cultivating my creativity.  I haven’t done any new photo projects and have hardly spent any significant time out in the field taking photographs.  I haven’t even gone up to Yosemite this summer!  But then again, it’s blazing hot this time of the year and I hate being outside when it’s 100 degrees in the shade.

 

I think I’ll start today with a new project just to get the creative juices flowing.  I’ve seen many photographers do a self-portrait a day or take a photo a day and post.

 

I don’t know if I want to spend the next year committing to self-portraits.   For whatever reason, I have never liked any self-portraits.  I’m quite an introspective person and looking at myself through the lens of a camera is a bit disconcerting.  Maybe that’s why I’m a photographer.  I think it’s just a bit difficult to try to capture some essence of myself in a photograph.

 

But then again, there is value in moving outside of one’s comfort zone.  I’ll give this a try.  A photo a day that involves some part of me (like I saw on someone else’s blog).  So not an original idea, but it’s better than feeling sorry for myself that I haven’t been taking pictures.  Besides, this might prove to be an interesting exercise in creativity as I’ll be killing two birds with one stone–photograph and write daily and then post on the blog.

Photos of Nina

Here are some of my favorite photos of my cousin Nina that we took one drizzly and rainy afternoon.

 

Photos of Lennox

Here are some of the photos I took of Lennox at the Getty.  At least he doesn’t mind posing for me  

Follow Your Bliss

“When you follow your bliss… doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors, and where there wouldn’t be a door for anyone else.”  (Joseph Campbell)

 

I want to share with you a couple of letters that some former students of mine have written.  I have been teaching for 13 years and I still wake up 99% of the time excited about going to work.  How many people can say the same thing?  But teaching is not for those who are “instant gratification” people because more often than not, you don’t have a real sense of the kind of influence you have on your students.  But every now and then, you are given a glimpse of that.

 

This was written by one of my students and given to me at the end of her senior year in 2006.  Her reference to looking up to me figuratively is due to the fact that I stand 5′ 1″ and most of my students are taller than me .  

 

“I’m not even entirely certain where to begin this letter.  I’ve known you for six years now, which is an entire third of my life.  And no matter how sporadic my visits to you have been, you have been an indescribably important part of m life.  You mean more to me that I could ever possibly explain in words, and I just hope you know that.

 

It is because of you that I am the person I am today.  It was at your suggestion that I made one of the biggest and most important decisions of my life (even though I didn’t know it then).  It’s because of you that I joined the honors classes, and joined an entirely new group of friends.  It’s because of you that I had the courage to leave what I knew and take a chance.  And the chance I took changed my life.

 

Six years later, I still remember discussions about Lord of the Flies and “Julius Caesar.”  And I know I would have been lost with “Macbeth” if it hadn’t been for you.  I still remember the countless hours my class spent with you outside of school, simply because none of us could get enough of your spirit, knowledge, and wit.

 

For good or bad, it’s your voice that’s in my head, telling me what I can do better.  It’s your voice I hear telling me not to do something stupid, even though I ignore that one on occasion.   It’s your advice I seek when I have nowhere else to turn.

 

You’re one of the strongest people I know.  You’re opinionated, intelligent, and unafraid.  I want you to know that I have really looked up (figuratively of course) to you the entire time I’ve known you.  I want you to know that truly you mean a lot to me.

 

No matter where life takes me to, I know I’ll never forget you.  You are part of where I came from.  You are part of the person I am, and part of what I will become.  You have done so much for me, and I am truly grateful.  I only hope that one day I will be able to return the favor.  Thank you so much for everything.”

 

 

This letter I received this June, the day after his high school graduation.

 

“I want to thank you for from the bottom of my heart for everything you’ve been to me.  A teacher, mentor, and friend.  You will forever remain as one of my most inspirational and influential teachers.  You challenged me to be smart without sacrificing my funny.  The passion you exude about literature sparked all of the enjoyment I get out of reading to this day.  You honed my intemperance and soothed my infirmity.

 

Judicious and laudable, you are every bit as important to me as my own mother.  Probably because you two share the same potentially violent qualities !  Although you were never my AVID teacher, you were the order to my notebook, the answer to my level three tutorial question, the acceptance letter from my college!

 

Your classroom is where I find myself when I’m in hiatus.  Your unquestionable integrity has more than affected me over the years.  You mean more to me that you’ll every really know, more than words can explain.

 

P.S.  A little something nostalgic; I’m only graduating college so I can come and sit in your chair .”

 

His P.S. is in reference to one of my classroom rules.  I have a director’s chair that I sometimes sit at when I am tired.  Most of the time, I’m walking around my classroom as I teach.  The rule is that you’re butt is not worthy to sit in my chair until you are in college or have a college degree.  Frequently, my students will tell me that when they graduate from college, they will come back and sit in my chair because they have finally been deemed worthy   Hey, anything to motivate my students to become educated.

 

I am truly humbled and blessed to be a teacher.  Whenever I walk by the self-help section of the bookstore, I am amazed at the proliferation of books on following your dreams, doing what you love, following your bliss.  I am blessed that I knew what my bliss was at a very young age.